My perspective earlier in the week:
My perspective now:
A bit of a change 🙂
I was walking Thursday morning trying to absorb the wisdom my husband had been sharing with me the night before when I had basically “lost it”. A combination of feeling physically awful combined with distressing news about a family member many miles away and I was in full blown “I can’t do this any more” mode … can you relate?
Have you noticed how amazing the difference can be between what someone says and what we hear; how sometimes the two can be exactly opposite?
As I was in melt-down mode, my husband was telling me how very much he wanted me to feel better so that I can enjoy life. That’s a pretty wonderful thing for someone to desire for another person, right? However, what I was hearing was “OK, everything I’ve already done (physically, spiritually, emotionally) has failed for me to feel this way and for my husband to see me as not able to enjoy my life.”
Then he said – “I didn’t tell you this to make you feel bad – I told you this so maybe you would give yourself a break, not push yourself so hard and rest and allow yourself to heal. If you keep dipping into your reserves and pushing yourself, soon there will be no reserves left.”
Suddenly the truth of what he was saying resonated in me but I had no clue what to do with it because of my perspective, which was me constantly in the storm that surrounds the mountain of FMS which I am continually trudging up . I told him I was afraid feeling better would never happen so I just had to keep pushing myself. His response “it never will happen if that is your attitude”. That truth resonated too, but still I was bamboozled.
Back to walking on Thursday morning trying to digest all this. At one point I had this image of a cloud of disappointment that was blocking my line of sight from the truth – but what was the truth? I don’t remember the exact sequence but it was something like I don’t know what else to do to be an overcomer Lord and I don’t think I have the strength/reserves left to do whatever needs to be done. I heard my Heavenly Father tell me “you already are an overcomer”. Huh? “You are in Christ (Eph 2:6) and He has already overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
Talk about a paradigm shift! I made it back to my house and recorded my thoughts which were:
I don’t make myself an Overcomer. I don’t think it. I don’t create it. I am permeated with the power, because of who Jesus is and what He has done. I don’t have to push myself to be an Overcomer. I already am one because of Jesus in me permeating me. He is the One who has Overcome the world. I don’t have to. I can rest because of who He is and what He’s done. I don’t have to be afraid that it will never happen; that I can’t bring it to pass – because that’s actually true, I can’t. That’s like trying to enter a room I am already in. I already am an Overcomer. I haven’t failed; I’ve just been deceived.
I can rest and not be consumed.
The “WOW” factor for me was pretty high at that point; but My Heavenly Father – the One who does exceedingly, abundantly above all we can even dare to dream to ask (Eph 3:20) … Yup, He had MORE.
On the way to work I was listening to a podcast by 2 olympic runners and they made a statement of how they start from a position of victory. Obviously they desire and work to win every race they enter, but if they don’t win it does not define who they are or steal their joy.
All the bells and whistles started going off in my head … starting from a position of victory; I am already an Overcomer … I get it!! I’m not stuck trudging up the mountain of FMS, that is NOT my starting position.
I’ve shared previously about making the choice of letting my experiences define God for me or allowing Jesus, who is the exact representation of our Heavenly Father, define God to me. My enemy was using a similar tactic of deception – my circumstances do not define me; I look to my Heavenly Father to tell me who I am. And He just did. I am an Overcomer; I start from the position of victory, the mountain top. I don’t have to worry about getting there, I am there.
Now here is the Pièce de résistance 🙂 While I am writing this today, I searched for and found the “mountain top” picture at the top of this post. Here is an excerpt from the blog that went with this picture posted 6/21/12 … the exact day I had all this revelation:
No wonder the times I’ve literally been at the mountain top skiing there has been such a joy in my spirit, soul and body … this is where I belong! Now that perspective sets me free indeed.
Wanna join me – the perspective is great!
Hope Without Limits 
I love this picture! You have always been at the mountaintop, but the enemy doesn’t want you to know it. He is the author of sickness. I know what works for me. When I am sick, I start praising God for healing me, and the devil gets back to hell where he belongs, and I wake up the next day with a certain ache or pain gone. True, I do still have knee problems from my surgery, but see what I just did…I admitted it, which is also what the enemy loves to hear. It might sound crazy, but as I apply my ice pack and take my pain meds, I say, “I’m healed in the name of Jesus.” I also have another technique when I feel tired or worn down…I start scrubbing everything in my house from top to bottom…I tend to forget my ailment and concentrate simply on the task at hand…Maybe instead of rest, you need to scrub the floor with a toothbrush until the devil sees there is no stopping you. Make the enemy the liar that he is. If you feel discouraged from FMS, tell yourself every day that you’re not going to let it suck the life and joy from you, and, Diane, I believe with all my heart that you are healed in the name of Jesus…and in your words “because of who Jesus is and what Jesus does.” (Did I get that quote right?) You are a great blogger. Together we can praise God for your healing. Love you!!! Every feeling in our bodies whether good or bad are reminders that we are alive and that God made us perfectly. Jesus rocks my world. The pain in my heart, soul and spirit are sometimes unbearable from missing Don, and then I pray and thank God for someone that brought me closer to the Lord. It’s a good feeling when I think about Don and certain places we were together, especially in Nashville because the same sscent is in the air around me…it’s tangible. That’s the Lord.
Hey Judy – you’re quite the blogger yourself 🙂 I hear what you’re saying about not giving up, that is so very important. However for me at this point in my life I am learning another facet of “making the enemy the liar that he is” and it is taking the form of rest without fear of being consumed if I do rest and don’t fight. I have made myself physically rest in the past, but I wasn’t truly able to benefit from that rest because of my perspective of the mountain of FMS in front of me. It’s hard to articulate, but if all you can do while you “rest” physically is think about the the challenges that lay ahead you just continue to wear yourself out. Your picture of scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush … I think that’s what I’ve been doing pretty much, not literally but figuratively; determined to show the enemy and everyone else I will not be defeated by FMS. I went forward for prayer at church today and the person praying for me reminded me it is God’s faithfulness that heals me, not my faithfulness. I get to rest in His faithfulness. Simple and profound. Knowing what’s His part and what’s my part at any given moment. This moment, for me, is resting in the truth that I already am an Overcomer. I don’t have to prove anything to myself, God, the enemy or anyone else. It’s new territory for me and I like it!
“Have you noticed how amazing the difference can be between what someone says and what we hear; how sometimes the two can be exactly opposite?” How uncanny: I was meditating on just this yesterday. People read what they think you are saying, not what you really are.
And so refreshing to start from the point – one I know well – of having ‘lost it’. Life is sometimes so stressful. It takes thought and prayer to find a way through.
Thanks for a victorious post 🙂
Hi Kate – you pretty much summed up why I am writing – life is challenging for every one of us and we need to know that regardless of what we are facing there is unconditional hope available to us.
Thank you for reading and for the encouragement!
My friend, you are so right. Thanks for your vision because it spoke to me…I’m saying physically scrub a floor, when God is right there without expecting us to scrub a floor. You know I’m a control freak, so I was leaning toward taking God’s job…I like your way better…let go and let God…it’s faith not scrubbing floors. Lemons to lemonade…I don’t believe God gave you FMS, but I think God has gotten you to this blog from it. Does that make any sense. I like the way you share in honesty your ups and downs with it and how God always seems to spark something in you to move you forward in many ways…thanks for the reply…it really helped me tonight as always…love love to you. God bless…