Hope Without Limits

The past month has been pretty rough health-wise for me.  The best thing about that is, it sends me deeper into the Word.  Take that enemy.  Color me surprised when I discovered that my Heavenly Father created “the destroyer” and that is a very good thing.

I have created the blacksmith
who readies the fire and forges weapons for wars;
And I have created the destroyer to ravage and ruin.
But no instrument forged against you will be allowed to hurt you,
and no voice raised to condemn you will successfully prosecute you.
It’s that simple; this is how it will be for the servants of the Eternal;
I will vindicate them.
Isaiah 54:16-17

The blood on the doorframes of your houses
will be a sign of where you are.
When I pass by and see the blood, I will pass over you.
This plague will not afflict you when I strike the land of Egypt with death …

The Eternal will pass through the land during the night
and bring death to the Egyptians.
But when He sees the blood-markings across the tops of your doorways
and down your two doorposts,
He will pass over your houses and not allow
His messenger of death to enter into your houses and strike you down.
Exodus 12:13 & 23

Did you catch that the reason that no weapon formed against you can prosper is because God has created the One who can destroy those weapons?  Did you catch that the angel of death, the destroyer, sent through Egypt was sent from God, Himself?

Any idea who this Godly destroyer might be?  There’s only One I know that has defeated our every enemy and that would be Jesus. (Eph 1:20-22)

What this revelation looked like for me personally is recorded below from my journal this week.

What came to mind just now is the moment of that horrible blood test where they were checking blood volumes from laying to a standing position. (Aside: When I was about 15-16 they drew blood while I was laying down, took the needle out and tried to re-insert it as I stood up.  The needle went right through the vein.  I passed out from the pain and my arm was black and blue from elbow to wrist when I regained consciousness.) That was so painful and frightening.  I think maybe it was after that I told Dad (who was a prominent physician) “I’m done with doctors”.  That and the beta blockers and how horrible they made me feel.

I’m beginning to wonder if I made an inner vow “I’ll always be this way, it’s just the way I am and I will deal with it, the doctors obviously can’t help me.”  WOW.

I’ve been sitting here weeping as the pain and the hopelessness that attached themselves to me at the moment, as well as the lies, have been revealed to me.  As I sat here I saw You, Jeshua, literally come busting in running to me.  You were huge.  You looked like a big body builder knocking everything and everyone out of the way to get to me and embrace me in an all-consuming hug. You said “Get away she’s mine!”  So much light started to fill that place, I felt You literally swiping my shoulders and back to brush away what had attached and what I’d been carrying and then the ceiling opened and we shot out of there to soar, with me sitting in your heart like I’ve seen myself so many times before.  And now, PEACE as I sit here.

I literally had no clue what happened that day other than the literal experience and pain.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR LIGHT AND TRUTH to reveal this dark place, what it contained and for setting me free.  I confess that inner vow “I’ll always be this way, it’s just the way I am and I will deal with it, the doctors obviously can’t help me.” as sin.  I break off agreement with that vow and ask You to forgive me Father, Jeshua and Holy Spirit.  I forgive myself for turning to self-defense and self-reliance rather than turning to You Father.  Oh, I confess as sin choosing isolation as being safer than choosing You and the people you put around me to help me.  I come out of agreement with the ungodly expectation that “the end result of medical help” will be to hurt me with no upside.  I confess that as sin as well and ask You to forgive me.  I forgive myself for making that choice to self-protect in that manner.  If I don’t expect anything from the people around me, I won’t be disappointed, plus it will keep me safe from what they might do to me.  What’s the truth Father?  Oh my – just as You have given me the gift to help heal others and be part of their healing journey; You have put others around me to help heal me and be part of my healing journey.   

That pretty much rocked my world.  But that’s not all – as I drove into work more revelation came ….

The lie is that I have to put up with the heat (my acupuncturist’s term for the pain I’ve been experiencing) in my head or my gut because “that is just the way I am”.  The truth is You, Father, have made me just a little lower than the angels (Psalm 8:5).  I am a new creature.  I am God and flesh incarnate (2 Cor 5:17).  I am just like my brother, Jeshua, God and flesh incarnate so I don’t have to put up with either one – heat in my head or heat in my body.  I get to be free of both.   Thank You Lord that having that heat is NOT just the way I am.  It’s NOT the way I always will be.  I am FREE.  I am FREE.  I am FREE.  I am blessed just like You told me in Isaiah 54.  No weapon formed against me will stand because Jesus is the destroyer of every weapon formed against me.  Thank You, Jesus.  Thank You, thank You, thank You.  So destroy this headache.  I receive the destruction of this headache because of You, Jeshua, my Destroyer.  Thank You

You know what – the headache disappeared!

What is in your life that continues to plague you, regardless of your efforts?  Check out what you believe about it and ask our Heavenly Father to send his destroyer to free you from the lies you believe and to set you free with the truth!