You know when it’s cloudy and you feel a heaviness because you can’t see or feel the sunlight? That’s a literal picture what grieving over “what-ifs” does within us. That was my discovery this evening.
Not long after my acupuncture appointment started tonight I asked my acupuncturist what it was he was addressing and he told me “lungs which usually pertains to grief”.
Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly a “bingo” moment for me; more of a, what the heck is he talking about moment.
As I lay there just allowing my body to receive what it needed from the treatment I felt this heaviness. I asked my Heavenly Father “what is this”? I saw this large, thick, grey cloud and then I saw Him with his breath blow it away and felt the wonderful feeling of the sun/son kissing my face.
Again, I asked “what is this”?
I heard “you need to let go of grieving over what-ifs”. Clarity came in that moment. You know when you love someone – be that someone a husband, child, parent, sibling or friend and you want the best for them and you are constantly wondering “what if they make this choice in their life” and then you worry incessantly about that possibility? That’s grieving over what-ifs. It feels about as “good” as a cloudy day and serves about as much benefit.
It literally puts a cloud between your heart and the heart of God that blocks out experiencing the glorious joy and the warmth of being kissed by the son/sun. God’s kisses are as constant as the sunshine, it’s just that clouds sometimes get in the way of our experiencing them.
What-if’ing the choices a loved one may make and compounding it by what-if’ing the consequences of those choices clouds our awareness of God’s love for us and God’s love for those we love.
God’s love that:
- Has the hairs of my head and the heads of my loved ones numbered (Matt 10:30)
- Has searched me and known me and my loved ones. Knows when we sit down and when we rise up; understands each of our thoughts from afar. Scrutinizes each of our paths and lying down, and is intimately acquainted with all our ways. … whose eyes have seen our unformed substance; and in whose book were all written the days that were ordained for me and my loved ones, when as yet there was not one of them. (Ps 139:1-3, 16)
I’m thinking my Heavenly Father has it pretty well covered and He’s right I do need to let go of grieving over what-if’s. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them because I’m not worrying about them and running through every “what-if” scenario. Rather, it means I know that as much as I love them, God loves them more and has every “what-if” covered. Talk about a reason to hope!
So, clouds or sun/son-kisses, what’s your choice?