I had a dream where I was given tickets to a concert and without realizing it, gave all the tickets away and was left with nothing because I did not count myself in who should have a ticket. As I woke I heard “You never count yourself so you give away what is yours and have nothing left for yourself.” Yes, I squirmed.
As I pondered this, I asked God “is there a place where You draw the line about sacrificing yourself, so that you don’t lose yourself in order to stay who You are?”
Honestly, I didn’t think there was anything God had not or would not sacrifice for us. But to my surprise what I heard was “actually there is”. He had my attention. How about you?
Our omnipotent Heavenly Father went on to tell me He does not sacrifice who He is to cross the line of free-will even to protect us from our own choices. Think garden of Eden.
If He crossed the line of free-will He would lose Himself. Immediately He would go from unconditionally loving Father to slave master. The Eternal counts being my Father, being your Father worth withholding that portion of Himself that is the power to force His will upon us.
My question is where have you not counted yourself worth withholding a portion of who you are, (the unique qualities of you, time, energy, resources), and as a result given so much of you away you have lost who you truly are?
Part of this journey of connection which I am traveling is connecting with myself. If I don’t actively and purposefully count my capacity to be me as I spend my day, and either give all of me away; or, give away the bread my Heavenly Father has given me to eat to nourish myself (2 Corinthians 9:10) … then not only do I lose myself, but those in my world lose who I am as well.
I am rethinking how much of me will I “give away” either to meet the needs of others or to morph myself for others to love me. I’ve been quick to blame others in the past about making too many demands on me as “my problem”. Being authentic I have to own my part of not being true to myself and counting myself worth my needs and my portion in order to have the capacity to be fully me for myself and my world.
Thanks to the teachings of Alison Armstrong I am able to tell you who I am without telling you what I do. I am hope, love, joy, authenticity and healing. That’s worth counting! That’s worth preserving.
Who are you? Do you know? For starters, spending eternity with you made enduring death in order to defeat it worth it to Jesus. I’m pretty sure that means YOU are worth counting, worth preserving, worth protecting.
By the way, eternity is already in progress. May I suggest you start counting yourself?