What if it’s about connection?
Does that rock your world a little bit? It sure has mine ever since my Heavenly Father asked me.
So much so, that is has taken me almost a month of “digesting” and journaling to be able to begin to share it with you.
Before I share any more, I say as a way of encouragement that it has literally been a “mining process” spread over multiple years to get to this point in my relationship with Abba (Father God) to be safe enough with Him to be able to look at such a deep place within myself. There was much uncovering and prep work to be done before I was safe enough to look at this primary operating system. Because for me, that’s what this mindset/filter/belief system has been. “Getting it right” has been behind pretty much everything I do — relationships, health, job, chores, relaxation, existence. It goes so deep in me, it feels like survival itself.
Can you see where that might create a problem to even have it suggested that perhaps your primary operating system itself is faulty when “getting it right” has been and is what you believe has kept you safest in every situation? And yet, in the midst of my tears of frustration of 1 step forward 3 steps back trying to recover from the recent knee sprain complicated by Fibromyalgia, ever so gently here is what my Heavenly Father whispered to me after His first 2 questions.
“You’re going to have to let Me out of the box
of your understanding
and your getting it right filter.”
I was back at the place of being at the edge of all the light I know and about to step off into the darkness of the unknown. It’s incredible what I have found!
It’s like my world has gone from black and white to HD color; from a checklist to an experience.
At top of Arapahoe Basin – 12,450 feet
The incredibly funny part is — I don’t have to get it right as this change grows and bears fruit in my life! 🙂
Are you wondering right now how my belief in God has been able to co-exist with this mindset? It’s been the fine print. Such fine print that until just recently I was not even able to see it or read it. But, I was still bound by it.
Obviously I’m being utterly transparent here. That’s pretty scary too. But I’m wondering if I’m not alone and perhaps my transparency might provide hope and freedom for someone else.
Connection has brought revelation to fill in my sketch drawing of Romans 8:38-39 with this depth, detail and color:
- I can never be separated from Abba, from Holy Spirit, from Jesus which means
- I am eternally and perpetually connected to:
- being filled with the waters of eternal life from Their throne (Revelation 22:1)
- being filled with all the blessings of Abraham (Genesis 12:2-3, Galatians 3:29)
- being filled with all the promises that are Yes and Amen in Yeshua (2 Cor. 1:20)
- being filled with every gift and fruit of the spirit (1 Cor. 12:7-11, Gal. 5:22-23)
Now, whenever I experience a sense of disconnect … it’s a red flag that I have been deceived by the enemy. My enemy would like me to think that sense of disconnect holds condemnation. When the truth is, that sense of disconnect is Abba’s love calling to my very essence, my heart, calling me to reconnect with the more of Him, the Eternal One. For if I believe I am disconnected, it’s like I’ve closed the circuit to receive God’s love. Think of an on/off light switch flipped to “off” which prevents the light from shining. It does not mean the power is not there or has been removed. All of His love is still available to me, still mine, still encircles me. The ability to experience connection resides in what I believe.
I’m pretty much drowning in discovery these days and will share more in future posts.
Like – what about excellence if it’s not about getting it right? Curious? Coming soon to a post near you!