Imagine my surprise to meet a lurking dragon during my morning walk.
I don’t know your about part of the world, but in our part of the world the weather has been rather crazy this winter — 40 degree Fahrenheit changes in one day. With that come a lot of barometric changes and with that a lot of Fibromyalgia pain.
While attending a ministry opportunity last week the speaker instructed us to ask God what He wanted us to do this year. I was expecting a “to do” list. No surprise as that is pretty much my “go to” mindset.
But what I heard was “give yourself a break”. At that same moment I saw a picture from the movie “Gladiator”. Maximus is so battle worn and weary on the front line, so very tired, but he won’t stop because his king is asking him to fight, so he fights.
What came into my thoughts at that point was “If I give myself a break and I don’t fight, who will?” Immediately I saw all these ranks of angels to fight for me and with me.
That doesn’t leave much room for debate does it? Only thing is, how does one give themselves a break? What does that look like? What I saw modeled while growing up was: push yourself as hard as you can, as long as you can and then push yourself a little more. For some reason, it never occurred to me to question that modus operandi.
Looking for some way to give myself a break, I decided to give myself permission to miss my morning walk. That may not sound significant to you, but my morning walk is my favorite time of the day for many reasons. Something I very rarely miss. Every step encourages me that the FMS has not won. The beauty of the dawn awakens fresh hope.
Instead of pushing myself to walk, I spent the time trying to give my body what it needed to get the pain managed via hot soaking baths, stretching and essential oils to get myself out the door to work not feeling so ravaged by the pain.
After a couple of days of self-nurturing, my body was feeling some better (amazing how that works when we follow our Heavenly Father’s guidance 🙂 ) however, my spirit and soul were longing for the refreshing that gazing at God’s creation creates in me. No matter the temperature being a mere 17 degrees Fahrenheit with 6 degree wind chill, I set out on my morning walk unaware I was about to discover a lurking dragon.
In the peaceful quiet of the morning I heard my Heavenly Father tell me why this has all seemed so horrible and why the thought of giving myself a break; not fighting the pain and not pushing myself so hard had seemed so terrifying.
I was afraid that if I acknowledged my need, if I examined it, touched it, or addressed it I would discover it to be an insatiable dragon. I believed there would be no way that I could get it back under control once I let it out. It would consume me. No wonder I was pushing myself so hard to fight.
What my Heavenly Father showed me is the truth that He is the dragon slayer (Isaiah 27:1).
If I will acknowledge my need, even if it is as big as a dragon, He is the One able to slay the dragon. The truth is the sooner I acknowledge my need the sooner I can become connected to the Dragon Slayer and His infinite supply (Phil 4:19).
Now there is a burden lifted and a reason to hope.