Have you ever had a month of Sundays? I have.
Of course, I didn’t call it that when it started, my anger and bitterness wouldn’t let me. It was medical leave that had me totally at odds with myself. Relief that I didn’t “have to” keep going; fear of what the future held. But I had made the choice to “let go” and “rest”. So, what’s next?
Well for starters, beautiful, cool, crisp weather in the height (August) of southern summer. Are you kidding me? Seriously? God knows my love language. (for anyone not from the south 100 degrees farenheit and 100% humidity are the norm).
Nothing makes my spirit soar like beautiful, cool, crisp weather and to just be able to be out in it on my porch swing was like an elixir. And, I discovered napping in it was very refreshing too 🙂 . It was literally just what I needed, but obviously could never have done for myself … hmmmmmm God was up to something, ya think?
Have you ever realized how much energy it takes to hold on for dear life? A whole lot. Actually it was takes more energy than any of us have. God knew that. I didn’t.
So what was making it so scary to just let go and rest in God; the things I believed in my heart. As I have said repeatedly. God knew what was in my heart; He just wanted me to know so we could do something about it.
Revelation 1 – belief in my heart was “if my prayers were working I wouldn’t be here on medical leave, hurting so much from the FMS, feeling so weak”. When God shows me something my heart believes, I’ve learned it is wise to stop and just ask Him – what is the truth Lord? The truth was God was totally providing for me through my husband, disability insurance, my co-workers, my family and my friends. What God brought to mind was an oil painting of Daniel in the lion’s den that I had seen in the Smithsonian several years prior. When I walked into the room where it hung I literally fell back on to the bench behind me. The painting took up an entire wall. Daniel was backed up against a rock wall stretching his head back from the lion literally in his face while several more lions surrounded him ready to pounce, but there was not a scratch on Daniel. Not a mark. God didn’t take away the lion’s den; Daniel had to go through it. But, God brought him through and out unscratched.
Message received: lie = if my prayers were working I wouldn’t be here. Truth = You are the same yesterday, today and forever (Heb 13:8) and You will never, never, never, never forsake me (Heb 13:5). Even though I am in the midst of my “lion’s den” God will bring me through this “whole” (unscratched) restoring every place in my life the enemy is attacking.
Time for more rest; then more revelation.
|Sir Peter Paul Rubens
Daniel in the Lions’ Den, c. 1614/1616
Ailsa Mellon Bruce Fund